cultural openness, little humanity 🥟

i was sitting at my desk the other day eating a french baguette sandwich, (as french as it could be with american meats and cheese), when this story from middle school came rushing back to me

it was probably because i was thinking about eating a french-ish sandwich in about as non-french of a place that could think of, but i digress

growing up, i brought asian type foods to school for lunch because that’s what we did

part of growing up asian was being different — we look different, we sound different, and the food we brought looked and smelled funky

since i was a nerd and wasn’t part of the cool crowd, i was subject to some level of bullying

one easy target was the stuff i ate, namely dumplings — chives, egg, pork, sesame — it was clear none of it looked or tasted “american”

as adults in today’s modern world, we revel in that worldly uniqueness and say “oh shit that’s delicious” but as kids, you were different and smelly

the other kids would say “geezus ,what is that smell frank, get away from me”

so, i sat by myself to avoid comments like these

there was this boy named andrew, i don’t remember how we met — we probably were in the same class together

he had this chipmunky kind of smile, big front teeth, amplified by the fact that he actually was missing a few teeth on the sides

he’d come up to me at lunch and offer to exchange some of his food for mine

“hey frank, can i get like, five of those potstickers for this mcdonald’s cheeseburger”

i didn’t understand what his deal was

i’d acquiesce though, because i’d watch him stuff those potstickers down his gullet with such joy

a boy with a penchant for homecooked chinese food, when chinese food wasn’t the thing that made you likable in the school yard

and it was comical to me because the stuff andrew would barter with would be from the school lunch line

you would expect him to bring something unique from his home, you know, a home-made thing for a home-made thing

“naw man, i just got this from the lunch lady — you know, 99 cents” 😂

i got the shaft end of that deal

i guess mcdonald’s cheeseburgers weren’t horrible either, at least i got to feel semi-normal for a little bit

as we progressed through the grades, andrew and i didn’t end up to be super close

i saw him on the four-square fields, and he’d continue bartering for bites of my lunch

sometimes he’d stay to have a chat, other times he’d smile, cheeks full of negotiated dumplings, and jet off

i can’t even remember if we went to the same high school after that

looking back, these small moments were very humanizing and unappreciated

i think it was actually enough to ease the rest of the bullying i received

“well, one guy who doesn’t look like me likes my food, so ya’ll can bite me”

i’m sure andrew doesn’t remember this at all, and probably doesn’t remember me

i looked him up on linked in

he’s an english teacher for middle and high school students

i hope he’s a foodie

i also hope that the part of him that was so accepting of others’ differences drove him to pursue what he is today

✌️🥟🍔