I got into the habit of writing a reflective post after traveling to help me integrate the inspirations, habits, and bits of life that I picked up abroad. I did some of that in a previous series about Paris after we lived there for two months. The goal is capturing these essences while they’re fresh and recreating them in my daily life.
The point isn’t to replicate the environment, it’s to adopt and encourage new states of mind. If you want a new environment, just move. If you want a new state of mind, live at a different pace and be open to how you behave in that space.
To avoid escapism, I make it a point to stay in one location and just experiment what it’s like to “live” like a normal person. I think it brings up some behaviors you wouldn’t normally do as a standard tourist. I’m not hitting up attraction after attraction, but I’m taking it slow, shopping at grocery stores, reading in the park, cooking at home, and of course, making new friends. I do both things I would normally do at home and I throw in some random stuff.
I’ll make a note that it’s not easy. There are plenty of times when I feel like I “should” be doing something to make the most of my time in a new place, but I’m getting better at letting that pass on by. You’re “living”. What else could be more important?
i want more connection abroad
I could’ve picked some city I’ve never been to, but Copenhagen was the choice since I enjoyed my first visit 11 years ago, my partner had not yet been, and I had an ex-coworker friend who volunteered her time (and her husband’s) to come hang out. I think those details sealed the deal for me. I prioritize seeing people first, and I’d say that group hangout was the highlight of the trip for me. We worked together remotely for two years, and it’s interesting to see people in person and not behind the screen. That’s a great way to start any trip.
Seeking connection is not any kind of world breaking concept, but in the long run, it is all we have sometimes. I want to keep that alive. I’d do the same if they ever came to California.
We stuffed ourselves with copious amounts of beer and pizza in the hippest part of Copenhagen, which was also near the “shadiest” part, which probably consisted of one semi-homeless man. They’ve really got public safety figured out there.
i want to create an artist space for myself
We visited the Arken Museum in Ishøj, a little ways outside Copenhagen Central, where the current exhibition was a collection of installations by Frederik Næblerød. He had taken up residence within the museum as part of the installation itself.
He has this section where he encourages anyone to sit down, draw their thing, and nail it to the wall. There were hundreds of drawings, some very good, by children as well.
I found myself drawn to not only his resident art space, but a room that was full of montages of him working. It was like getting bombarded by the years of experimentation that eventually led him to produce the very work that was on exhibit.
I want to create a space like this for myself.
I’m not sure where to start though. It’s probably some form of repurposing empty space in your apartment or retuning your approach and your mind.
i want to bike more, but probably won’t 😂
Bikeable cities are amazing, Copenhagen being no exception and possibly the best.
The problem with trying to integrate biking back here in the States is that the environment that I end up biking in is just so incredibly boring. When the culture isn’t strong, there’s less bikes, less accessible roads, and more cars. It makes the biking feel dangerous. The buildings are also not inspiring to look at.
I give anyone full permission to hang me out to dry for my supreme lack of appreciation for the Bay.
I’m sure there’s some way to make it work, but I’m not optimistic, especially if the M.O is to get there fast (use a car), or the distance is too great to be feasibly possible (use a car).
i’m going to dress well (even better) and feel good
I thought Paris would’ve been the place that I learned to dress better (and sure, I dressed ok), but Copenhagen seemed to push me over the edge in this regard. I think the fact that I only had two pairs of working pants, one with a hole, and the other an ill-fitting pair of jeans probably had something to do with it. I was essentially forced to buy some new stuff, and well, might as well make it nice, right?
The stores I visited were strictly curations of high quality men’s styles that I really liked (Americana workwear). We stumbled upon a shop in the meatpacking district, found some quality chinos, and then I used AI to find stores that had similar curation.
I’ll continue upgrading pieces of my dwindling wardrobe and wearing the nice pieces that I’ve acquired abroad. I had a lot of stylistic help from my partner, so I wasn’t just doing this alone. I’d probably end up buying clown pants if that were the case. 🤡
The key is the feeling you get when you put something on that’s nice. It’s an interesting exercise for yourself. If I feel good in the external presentation of myself, it tends to bleed internally as well. It works the other way too.
i’m going to drink more coffee, but lighter roasts
We were in town for the Danish coffee festival which fit perfectly with our desire to drink copious amounts of coffee.
I was first convinced by my local coffee shop back home that lighter roasts were more interesting because they retained much more of the fruit and fermentation tasting notes during the roasting process. That makes sense, since you’re not burning your beans to a crisp.
I still am in for a nice dark cup of joe - sometimes I just need that burnt diner stuff 😂, but I failed to appreciate so many of the interesting flavors on the light side because I thought it was “too acidic” or too caffeinated.
So, any chance I got, I tried lighter roasts in Copenhagen. They’ve got a vibrant third wave coffee scene with really great roasters - La Cabra, Prolog, Coffee Collective, April, and Yellow Bird, just to name a few.

i like not having so many voices in my head
There's this level of peace that I achieve when I'm traveling because I'm not on my regular routine of listening to podcasts and watching a fuckton of jiujitsu instructionals. Back home now, I'm a little hesitant to start again because my mind just feels so good.
I think the type of content actually matters. Podcasts, depending on which one, are some form of advice giving entertainment, and it's easy to fall into listening to these voices, making a judgment comparison, and thinking you're not good enough. It's a little exhausting. I'm sure there's also some degree of distraction going on.
I had plenty of downtime in Copenhagen, but jiujitsu instructionals just didn't feel like the "thing" I wanted to be doing, even though I love the sport through and through. I ended up watching some competition re-runs where people weren't actually talking at me, and that seemed to be the right thing for the moment.
There's gotta be a middle ground somewhere, because saying I'm never going to podcast ever again or watch another jiujitsu instructional is just plain dumb.
I think the biggest benefit so far is actually being able to hear my own random thoughts. I'm able to form my own opinions before resorting to the next most prestigious expert or person in the vicinity of what I'm doing.
there's always time to smell the flowers
We planned a couple of Michelin-starred restaurants during our time in Copenhagen, but I won't do a full review on the experience here. Both places exceeded expectations and I would go back.
It was at Jordnær where I vividly recall the head chef walking out to serve a large party in the back corner. Instead of going straight to the table, he intentionally stopped at a flowers placement in the middle of the dining room and smelled the magnolias.
I don't know why this affected me so much. I’ve been thinking about that little interaction quite often. A three-Michelin-starred chef, during the craziness of service, still had time to stop and smell flowers. I mean, I knew that elevated Nordic cuisine was about seasonality and foraging, but just transplanting the exact same things to a different place wouldn't exhibit the same results unless you had the attitude of this chef. I see it as a presence of mind, or something. It's a gentle reminder to always use your senses.
That’s all for now. Cheerio!
What a great essay Frank! It resonated on so many levels, from the coffee to stopping and smelling the flowers. Hope your international travels bring you to Barcelona soon, happy to hang and take you out for a bike ride!