what makes a long term relationship
anniversaries are kinda weird
they really don’t mean anything
they’re kinda like birthdays
but if you do acknowledge and celebrate it
that’s where you get to think about how far you’ve come
today is my 12-year anniversary with my partner, amy
12 years is roughly … 4,380 days
that’s a long ass time
we’re opposites but we’ve seemed to make it work
you can say we’re complements
like,
i can’t do onions, mushrooms, and avocados
i peel em off and she goes for it
she doesn’t like salmon skin, squid sushi, or gamey stuff
she peels those off and i go for it
see? it works
our schedules are literally opposites
she’s off tomorrow but i teach jiujitsu at 6am
then im dying throughout the day without sleep while she’s ready to play
she comes home at 8 when im just leaving for … you guessed it, jiujitsu
you’d think we didn’t want to see each other
food and traveling helps
and also a wolf pup that we give a voice to
but it’s mostly understanding her love language, little acts of service
feeding the unending hunger
leaving the bathmat dry
dancing and making up random songs
post-it notes everywhere
you know, jingles and dinner
forget love language, i think everyone could use jingles and dinner
talking is important, obviously
it’s as easy as saying “hi” throughout the day
or laughing at shit
or you can go into the harder stuff
you know, actually listening
without the phone anywhere in sight
comfort, not advice, or advice, not comfort, get it right
time spent together is time well spent
for her, big gestures are nice but not necessary
although some flowers every once in a while can do some good
she taught me that it’s fine to have problems
it’s not fine when i don’t seek help for them
partners aren’t therapists
they’re supporters
it’s important to support one another
you know, grow together
otherwise, you grow apart
is that obvious?
maybe, but it’s simple
it’s usually compromise, not sacrifice
something about finding the balance of energy levels
and getting enough sleep
so we can café hard and food hop again tomorrow
because that’s what we do
she’s still as gorgeous as the day i met her
who says women aren’t like wine
but none of that shit above matters
i was lying about what works
it’s really
folks who get swole together stay together
and also
those who eat tacos together stay together
yeah, that’s it
